As we're thinking about Thanksgiving today, it reminds me of some things that I am thankful for:
1. Nose hairs- You wouldn't believe what a great job they do! When the chemo did its thing and made all my hair fall out, the nose hair went fast. That made my nose run nearly all the time. Then I read that without nose hair, that's what happens. They also help keep out the bad stuff from your insides.
2. Head hairs- Every woman I've talked to who has lost her hair to chemo has talked about the brutal blow it is to your female psyche to not have hair on your head. Every morning and every night when I was sans hair, I would stand in front of the mirror and just look at myself bald-headed. It was just the pits. I looked like a bald-headed version of my brother, Tommy, which is not a good thing for a girl. But now that my hair has grown out, I am thankful every day for it. Miss Clairol has to help me along because it is all grey now. The top still isn't long enough to cover my forehead, but the sides and back are growing great.
3. Hair hats- I'm both thankful that I had them and thankful that I don't have to have them anymore. This is one of the things that makes me laugh about all that---when Ana & Nikita asked me where my 'hair hat' was because they didn't know the word for 'wig.' Wigs are sticky, itchy, sweaty and lop-sided some of the time. BUT I wouldn't give up the assurance it gave me that I at least had hair for the public. As soon as I got in the car each afternoon after work, that thing came off and the baseball cap went on. Ahhhhhhhh.
4. Hairy legs & armpits- Once again when the chemo made all my hair fall out, the leg and armpit hair went away!!! This was great. At least I didn't have to worry about shaving those areas while on the blood-thinners. (David would say I never have worried about shaving those areas regardless of the reason.) After chemo was over and my hair started coming back in, the leg hair came back, too. But a good thing is that it isn't near as thick or as coarse as it was.
5. Mouth sores- I have always fought off mouth sores since I was a kid, so when I was told that this was one of the side-effects of the chemo I was scared of that. I got a softer toothbrush and was careful brushing. I ate very few potato chips or anything sharp. I made up a baking soda/salt/water mixture that I religiously swished in my mouth all through the day. Thankfully, I only had two ulcers in my mouth the whole time and they were small. That's one side effect I didn't need.
6. Red hands & feet- This was a real bummer when I was going through it, but the red feet side effect made the bottoms of my feet as soft as a baby and got rid of a callous on the bottom of my left foot.
7. Chemo from the inside out- While on the chemo, I developed a red rash on my arms, hands and legs. A trip to a dermatologist revealed that the chemo I was taking internally was finding all the pre-cancer spots on my skin and was killing them. My dad and my brother both have gone to a dermatologist to take care of spots on their faces, ears and necks. They applied a cream daily for several weeks which burned the places off. That cream had a chemo drug in it. My chemo I was taking through my medaport worked from the inside out to find all the cancer spots. Also got rid of some ugly brown age spots on my hands.
8. Pampers Baby Wipes- When you're on chemo, your body is getting rid of the poisons they are injecting. Chemo drugs coming out of your body are very acidic and painful. Needless to say, baby wipes were a miracle cure to keep the skin clean of acid. Enough said.
9. Frozen Food- Both of our daughter-in-laws, Tami & Elena, cooked food for us that could be frozen and cooked easily by myself or David. Just pop it in a pan or in the convection oven and you had supper quick and easy. Thank you, girls!!!
10. Flowers from a Neighbor- Our next-door neighbor told another neighbor about my chemo. That special lady came over with flowers for me. We didn't know her, except to wave at her in the alley as we passed each other. In the same thought, I have been fortunate enough to share my story with many people. Teaching people how to do breast self-exams and to get mammograms has been rewarding.
11. Drugs- Thank God for drugs! My first chemo treatment on December 1, 2006 was just awful. Throwing up repeatedly, once even along side Forest Lane, a busy street in front of the Garland ISD building. But I took Emend before the next treatment 2 weeks later and it made all the difference in the world. My oncologist told us that I could have many side effects and that one of his jobs was to help me get through the side effects. I can't even remember all the drugs I was on, but once that side effect went away, I stopped that certain drug to treat it. One of the best was Marinol, that I took to get an appetite back and so food would taste good. Yes, it comes from marijuana, but it is legal and it worked wonderfully.
12. Red Devil- I hated this drug, named Adriamyacin. My first 4 chemos included 2 cow syringes full of the stuff and it was red like red Kool-aid. The oncology nurse would get me started on the first drug and would lay the 2 Red Devil syringes down beside me. She said some people called it "The Blood of Jesus" but most people called it "Red Devil" and I was in the latter crowd. This stuff was awful. It tore up your insides ( see #8 above) and kicked your body. BUT it also kicked my cancer in the butt. It made my fist-sized tumor shrink almost before your eyes. Hopefully some day soon there will be something to replace Red Devil like the marijuana derivative in the news this past week---something that only kills the cancer and not the person behind the cancer.
13. My Cot Room & Work- I could not have asked for a better work environment than I have at Unitrin Specialty Insurance. My manager, Gabe Nill, was so supportive and accommodating from the word go. When I had to be quarantined while my white blood cell count was low, he moved my whole office to a small office with a cot in it. It was wonderful. When I worked as long as I could and needed a nap, I would close the door and take a nap and get up and go at it again. I'll always be thankful for the Cot Room and for Gabe's understanding. Not many men who you could talk openly about breast cancer and them not go "TMI!!!"
14. My Doctors- I have the best OBGYN in the world, Dr. Julia Gillean, who referred me to my breast surgeon, Dr. Allison Laidley, who referred me to my oncologist, Dr. Brooks, and to my plastic surgeon, Dr. Hodges, and to my radiologist, Dr. Munoz. We have been surrounded by wonderful doctors from the start and I thank God for their skills and compassion as they helped us through this year.
15. Cell Phones- I have never talked as much on the phone as I have this past year. It seems like talking about it helped me cope and many people were so gracious to listen to me tell about the latest side effects.
16. My Family- From frozen food (see #9 above) to phone calls, cards, emails, visits, hugs and last but certainly not least, their prayers. My mom is a breast cancer survivor, so her determination gave me courage to go on. Once I called just to whine about how bad I felt, and she told me that it was just temporary and to keep going. Mama & Daddy were always talking about the up-side of everything for my sake. Mama was right and it was what I needed to hear at that time. Our sons, Kelly & Tony and their wives, Tami & Elena, and two of our seven grandkids were here for my surgery and stayed all day at the hospital to see me that night. We didn't have Christmas last year because I was too pooped to go anywhere or have anyone here, so the kids called on Christmas day so I could talk to them.
17. My Booby Buddy- Peggy Jane and I have been close friends ever since school days at Spur. But with us both going through breast cancer on our right breasts, close friends doesn't even describe the relationship we now have. We talked almost every day to share aches, pains, laughs and all the dumb little things that you just needed to tell somebody about. Peggy's faith was a source of inspiration for me and we were always laughing about something. I looked forward to the calls each time.
18. My Best Friend- From the procedure for the biopsy on my breast forward, David went to every doctor appointment. He has been my eyes, my ears, my brain and my heart this past year. He tells funny stories about the things I did and said while UIC---Under the Influence of Chemo---most of them, I don't believe. David got to hear all of my complaints, my whining and my fears. At night it would get worse and he would hold me in his lap in the recliner and I would cry until his t-shirt was wet. Then we would get up and start all over on the journey.
19. My God- When I started all the tests and all last year, I thought this was going to be a lot to do, but I had no idea at how much it would test your faith. Many nights when sleep wouldn't come, I would think "this is a good time to pray" and I would start praying and could only get so far and then the word "CANCER" would creep back in my thoughts and I would go back down the slippery path again. I've been told by many people that they don't understand why God would let something like this happen to me or to anyone. My answer has been the same to each one: God doesn't promise to deliver us from anything, but he does promise to carry us through everything.
We truly have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. We wish the same for your family.
